People could draw a fine line between submission and oppression, if they didn’t really understand submission.
But who can say that they REALLY understand submission? Each person’s desire to be submissive is individually their own. No one submissive is the same as another. They may share similar kinks, but their root desires are not the same.
Women fight an internal battle between being oppressed and being submissive. Living in a male dominated society, fighting for equal rights, yet longing to give those rights to a trusted individual. It’s a struggle that most don’t even see. Transitioning from the vanilla world we reside in, to the kink world we desire is not always as seamless as we would like, and not everyone does it well. You may work in a male dominated field, but come home to a Master/slave dynamic. Or you may just go to a party or munch, after being the head of your household. Being submissive after fighting for dominance all day, can be difficult.
Women also fight an external battle between being oppressed and being a bitch. Society views men as the dominant species, leaders of the race. Strength and intelligence doesn’t always factor into these views. A male simply must be present. A woman must fight for respect. A woman must be assertive and aggressive to compete for dominance and be viewed as a leader. A woman will never be invited into the inner sanctum I like to call, The Good ole’ Boys Network.
The GOBN (because acronyms are the thing) exists in every community. It’s a man’s man club. A woman will NEVER be a member of this club. It exists because women have always been viewed as the weaker sex and men need to protect and dominate the weaker sex. These are primal instincts that go back to creation (whatever your views of this are).
I thought, when I first entered the local community, that the GOBN wouldn’t be present here. That the lifestyle, with its open views, would be exempt. WRONG. It exists everywhere. If there are men and women, there will be a GOBN.
We all play a part in creating and maintaining this network. Consciously or unconsciously, we feed the fire. How many times have you looked for a DM or Host, expecting it to be a man? How often do you expect a man to violate consent versus a woman? When you look around a party, who do you consider the ones to be in control? Just a glance…but if you were to really look…discard societies views…what would you see? How many times has a man made a comment that was inappropriate, yet we don’t respond because we know, we will be viewed as a bitch if we don’t just politely respond. We just gave them the power.
How often does a Host have a submissive doing a lion’s share of the work for a party, yet they are the ones that are given the most credit. They viewed as leaders of the community. They are given the keys to the city, so to speak. The GOBN takes them in and the membership grows. Yet they are only as strong as the submissives back that they rode to the top. Without the power we give them, they would likely be just a man.
Watch…and listen. The GOBN greetings…hard slaps to the back…firm handshakes. All shows of dominance. Listen to the discussions…power plays and dealings with problems in the community. All going on around you. Leaders making decisions in a GOBN.
Women should be able to be whatever they want to be. We shouldn’t have to be aggressive to be viewed as leaders. We are told, submissives hold all the power. We CHOOSE to give the power away, usually to someone that exhibits more power. We don’t have to give all our power away. We can be a force of nature. We can be a collective power, if we see our own potential. If we rally together and stop allowing societies views to taint our own.
Stop fighting to enter the GOBN and let’s create our own. Let’s stand up and show the world that submission doesn’t mean oppression, it means power.