Violate a Man’s consent? Pfftt…

Is that even possible?

Yes, men can have their consent violated…and they do.

Though men won’t usually report it, they have their consent violated a lot more than we think. Women and men, grab their ass and fondle their junk. They have their personal space invaded and hands roam their bodies…all without consent.

Why don’t they report it? Why don’t we hear about these instances? Why don’t they write about them, explaining why they felt violated and why they didn’t speak up? Why don’t they refuse to go to parties where their predator lurks?

Since I am not a man, I can only say what I have been told by men and can theorize about why they don’t come forward…

It’s not manly.
Men are taught to be strong and protectors. Feelings are for women and would make a man appear weak and womanly. Other men would tease and ridicule a man for coming forward. He may get his man card revoked.

The person was really good looking
They were almost flattered and took the touch as more of a compliment, than a violation. They simply changed their feelings about what happened , in order to get through the moment. It isn’t wrong, it is a choice.

It wasn’t a big deal.
They simply don’t care that much about simple touching. They didn’t consent to it, but they realize that the persons intent wasn’t meant to cause harm. They may write it off as a bratty sub, misbehaving. Or they may feel that since no permanent damage was done, they don’t need to bring it up.

No one believes them.
More often than not, men are the predators. So when a man reports a consent violation, they have to fight against the beliefs that they are physically stronger than women and therefore, less vulnerable. We simply don’t acknowledge that a woman can intimidate or violate a man. That old saying, “You can’t rape the willing”, implies that men cannot be violated without their consent.

No drama.
Men want to avoid the drama associated with reporting a consent violation. More often than not, a mistake on someone’s part is blown out of proportion and a persons reputation is ruined in the community. People are viewed as guilty of being a predator with little proof and must prove their innocence. Seeing other men go through a Fetlife firing squad, makes men refrain from reporting when they feel violated.

Feel free to add your theories and reasons…

STOP trying to measure your self worth

There is no measure of your worth. There is nothing to compare to, because there is only one YOU. There is nothing to measure against.

You can try…but you will always fall short. Because we are always looking out, not in.

Can you measure your worth based on others? No.

Can you measure your worth based on society? No.

Can you measure your worth based on the money you make? No.

Can you measure your worth based on the possessions you own? No.

When you feel like you aren’t worthy…when doubts start creeping in…that is your instincts telling you that you are in a situation that isn’t healthy. Don’t ignore your gut…listen closely because it knows your worth.